I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
do nipples grow back?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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