Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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