So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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