Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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