Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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