Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
