how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
