dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize
