The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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