my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Mom said you looked used
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
