Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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