I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
only if we run a train.
done.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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