I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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