i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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