Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
