She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
