i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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