btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Randomize
