return my video game
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
