Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
