It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
