When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I think my fart just growled at me.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
