We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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