Is it because I queefed?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
