you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
did i just pee glitter
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
