Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize
