I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
