I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize