So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
