but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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