So drunk its hurt
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
