when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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