i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
not ubering you a puppy
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
