His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
no you cant smoke seaweed
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
