yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
