we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
It's shark week go big or go home
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Text me some of your sweat
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
