I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
