I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
well most of my day revolves around power hour
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
