I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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