big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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