worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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