woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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