every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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