dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
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