Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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