No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
