He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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