You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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