im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
