Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
